Good Morning! Friend
I have such joy in being able to type this message to you!
I was struck with illness at Christmas time. I have been down, like, literally down on the couch since. I lost 15 lbs. I was literally wasting away, except it was not in Margaritaville! I was diagnosed with Ulcerative colitis last year. I had a really bad bought last year. Of course at the time, I did not know what it was. The year before I had a similar type illness, but not nearly as bad as the last 2 years.
The last 2 year’s, I was prayed over and it just went away. Vanished.
So this year, I was expecting the same result. But, healing wasn’t happening…..or was it?
I don’t know if you know about Ulcerative Colitis, but it is an auto-immune disease and it is evil. So, It will never go away. I have so much faith, that I sometimes wait too long to go to the Doctor. I’m thankful for great friends who strong arm me to go.
I don’t know if you have ever been so ill that you start planning your funeral. You start looking at life differently. You no longer think about all the little things that irritate you about your spouse. You no longer really care if you get that M5 BMW. You just want to be able to leave the house and watch your son play basketball. You just want to go on a date with your husband. You just want to do Yoga!
I was starting to lose faith, I have to be honest. The accuser was playing all kinds of games with my mind. Telling me that “Your God brought you all the way here to die”. and other things….again, this is why it is important to have wise counsel and thankfully my husband is that for me whenever I need it. He said, “That isn’t the Lord we serve honey, our Lord is sovereign. And other’s telling me that this is all because I am about to be propelled into my destiny. My Bible study girl’s are just the best too! I really hope you have a group like this! They are precious!
So, this leads me to my message. Last night after my steroids kicked in a little. I was sitting reflecting on the last 2 weeks, and the same view I have had, which was in my chair facing our street. The Lord put on my heart 2 corinthians 12:7. In this verse, Paul is talking about his “thorn in his side” a messenger of Satan, to torment him ( I can relate). He prayed 3 times for the Lord to remove, but nothing happened. The Lord responded with “My grace is sufficient, for you my power is made perfect in weakness. He stated it was there to keep him humble. To keep him from becoming conceited, and to boast of his weakness so the Christ power may rest on him.
They don’t really know or say what Paul’s thorn was. It has been thought maybe malaria, or a disease of the eyes. But it was a chronic debilitating disease, which at times kept him from working. Although Paul did not receive his healing he received something greater, which is what has happened to me.
I have received greater grace from our Lord. A stronger character, humility and an ability to emphasize with others. And a greater love for my husband.
This man……I literally fell in love again with him over these last 2 weeks. We have struggled in our marriage, that isn’t a mystery to anyone. And, there were things done that I held on to, and it led me to be bitter. Focusing on the 20% of things he does wrong versus the 80% of the things he does amazing.
I am a different woman today. My heart has been healed…..once and for all.
Never again will I be mean, or sarcastic to my husband, or my family, or friends or anyone for that matter. I want to reflect Jesus Christ. And as soon as I’m recovered….I will press on. I will love with ALL MY HEART. I will continue this mission he has me on and with the amazing team that he has assembled.
2017 is turning out to be an amazing year!
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One last thing…..Don’t chase things or money, chase Peace.
In His Love