Keep on going is phrase that has been LIFE CHANGING FOR ME. THis is a phrase I have heard several times through trials in my life. This simple phrase…..KEEP ON GOING, has such POWER. To me it means, if you just KEEP ON GOING, that you will start to see the fruit of your labor, and that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, for whatever trial you are currently going through.
But this blog in particular is speaking of marriages. Starting with my own. Most know our story, but in a nut shell Curt and I started out bad….married in Vegas, and left some stuff there, if you know what I mean. Curt’s demons of neglectful childhood and carrying on his family legacy of abuse physically and with addictions where poppin up in our life. Which I took the butt of all this. IN the beginning, I felt as if it was my punishment for all the wrong I did, and played that victim role for a loooooong time. My victim role started with my “Daddy” issues, and I hung on to that victim role for a loooooooong time. Until…..I met Jesus. And through my relationship with Jesus learning that, I didn’t deserve that from Curt, that Jesus had already forgiven me and loved me with the Fatherly love that I never received from my earthly father. I have now moved on and now love my earthy father for who he was, and ultimately it wasn’t really his fault either. He has now passed, and I am now healed, but I don’t really recommend waiting until after someone dies to come to terms with STUFF.
The words KEEP ON GOING, were first muttered by our Pastor and now spiritual Father Mike Slaughter. It was in a Sunday church service. I, at the time didn’t have a relationship with him, and wasn’t even really sure he knew who I was. But, we were in the thick of our battles and the look of “defeat” and I just can’t take anymore of this hell we were living in, I am sure was showing all over my person. It was the busiest service on a Sunday, so packed house. But, as people were exiting, I was crowded in with them, but I heard someone yell my name from the front of the church. “HEY RACHEL”!….I turned around, and it was Pastor Mike….he says with a running motion with his arms…..”KEEP ON GOING”. This was the first of several KEEP ON GOINGS. The rest of these came from his wife Carolyn Slaughter, who is now my mentor and spiritual Mother. Everytime Curt would act out, i would call and “tell on him”, and expect her to say…”it’s ok, you have had enough, you can leave now”. But she never did..she always said…..”KEEP ON GOING. Even through adultery, the words were, KEEP ON GOING. Gosh, I’m so thankful for these people in my life. Now some of my well intentioned friends would say..”oh you better leave him”, ” what a loser”, but this isn’t good advice. This is “living of the world” advice. Verses of the spirit.
Curt and I have now been the part of helping many many marriages get through similar marital traumas. Some of them, pretty bad. But, you know what we say…YEP YOU GUESSED IT! KEEP ON GOING. The only time I feel, and I think Curt would agree, that it is ok to let go, is if the other person is just hard of heart and refuses to make an effort. We started there, I mean, we all blaming the other person did this, and that, without even looking at our own flaws. But truth is, I couldn’t fix Curt. Only God could. And it is only through the transforming power of Jesus Christ that Curt was fixed and myself in the process.
Some people go through some “stuff” now that isn’t even comparable to what we went through, and I think to myself…”give me a break” You are telling me you want to destroy your family and generations to come over that?
As Desi would say to Lucy…”you got some splaining to do”. You have already gave up in your mind, or you have someone else whispering sweet nothings in your ear…and that is all that is..’NOTHING. THE fact that they are even trying speaks volumes of their character and also brings to light your own character defect. SO, if you are going through a bump in your marriage..KEEP ON GOING. Go get help. You can’t do this alone.
Your children and future Grandchildren are so worth it. Here is why I stayed. The last time Curt acted up, I got on my knees and prayed to God. “God, why do I have to go through this? why me? I thought you loved me? But, I will do whatever you tell me to do”. In the next 5 minutes he had me in our “marriage on the rock” book by Jimmy and Karen Evans. Not only in the book, but it opened up to this message. It talked of the suffering that Jesus endured for us, for our salvation. So that he would bear the pain for our sins, and sometimes, we have to bear some pain for the greater good.”OF course not what I wanted to hear”, but I was obedient. Guess what, blessings follow obedience. The cool thing is that my husband is way more awesome than anything I could have wished up.
It took years for it to happen, but my character was built in the process. I am unwavering in my faith and in my marriage. We are in it for the long haul. And I can’t wait, (well i can), but we vision our life 10, 20,30,40, 50 years from now with our kids and grandkids, and leaving a legacy. A legacy isn’t so much what you leave behind for them, but what you leave IN them.
WHAT WILL YOUR LEGACY BE?
God Bless and…
KEEP ON GOING!
Ready to live abundantly Spiritually, Physically and financially!
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